Friday, November 9, 2012

A letter to my creative self



Hello precious,

Let me start my letter by telling you how grateful I am that we are together again. Very very very very grateful and even more than that. I’m the gratefulness exclaimed in the sigh of parched, cracked land tortured by months of draught when the first raindrops of a monsoon kiss it. I’m the gratefulness that an explorer lost in a cave labyrinth experiences at the sight of a light showing him the way out of the cold darkness. I’m the gratefulness of a mother when her child comes back home unharmed after long years of waiting.
I never entirely realized you were a loyal companion of mine, until I lost you. I dimmed your light by my teenage anger and ego hunt, and then buried you deep underground by 5 years of senseless army drill and twisted ideas about myself and the world.
When I finally found my way out of that bad dream, it was like jumping on an empty train, heading to unknown destination and arriving at this familiar train station with many platforms but nobody around. Rays of afternoon light piercing the filter of dust on the tall window panes of arrival hall revealed occasional flicker of pigeons’ wings, adding to the quiet suspense of the moment. I got off the train empty handed, stepped silently on the hard surface of platform, looked around and closed my eyes for a second as the afternoon light blinded me. When I opened them again I noticed a lonely motionless figure standing further away at the same platform, facing me.
Some mysterious urge put my feet into movement. I was walking towards that unknown figure and suddenly I realized that its nature was good, it was friendly. Distance between us was getting smaller, until I could make out the outline of a smile on the stranger’s face. And then I looked him in the eyes and it all came back in the deafening crack of a mountain avalanche triggered by the weight of a single snowflake.
It was you, welcoming me with open arms, and before I knew it, I was hugging you hard and tears were streaming down my face. You squeezed me gently and whispered softly to my ear: “Hush there, hush my dear. You made it out of the dark forest and I’ll make sure that you won’t get lost again.”

True to your words, since that day our paths never parted. Since that glorious day we painted hundreds of tickets to happiness and we just started! There’s so much more to come and sky is the limit!
I wake up and I feel your comforting presence within me. Before I close my eyes at night, my last thoughts of gratitude and veneration go to you, my creative self.
Forever yours,
Jan.

1 comment:

  1. Creativity is in our nature. It manifests in countless ways and each of us can express it as naturaly as each of us can breathe. It comes from botomless source and it comes for free. It is a gift, but it needs to be loved, it needs to be sought after. Love it, express it, and never let it go! Namaste.

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